Myth #1: You have to date around to find the "Right" one.
Getting hooked up with the “right one” right person doesn’t happen by trying on every relationship possible until you find the right fit.
(Illustration: Trying on jeans) A relationship isn't jeans
You and I as believers need to focus more on our relationship with God and His forming us into the “right one” so when we do meet that person God has for us we don’t miss out.
Appearance Vs Inside:
There are people that you’re attracted to everywhere – only one with the heart. Yet we’re trying to find that heart out of our lustful desires
Only God can make that known to you, you can’t figure that out by yourself. But we try all the time and we have no idea what we’re looking for, so we need to pick up our Bibles:
Guys your bible tells you what a great wife should be (gentle, kind, serving, modest, compassionate, honorable, respected, humble, godly, and pure)
Girls your bibles tells you what you are looking for in a man (righteous, godly, self-controlled, respectable, servant of God and people, courageous leader, gentle not violent, steady not wishy-washy, compassionate, prayerful (Tim Tebo) So when its time for a guy to ask you out, check him out good.
Pull out your checklist and see if they compare.
(1 Peter 3:1-12,1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, Psalms 1:1-3)
There’s a huge list to go by. And it’s flawless.
(Illustration: My dating life)
(Not going to tell you not to date, I dated & married my HS Girlfriend)
(1 in million chance, it doesn’t happen to everyone)
Yes it’s true that at some point you will go out with the person you are going to marry, but that is not the magic formula for finding the right person. But with the biblical standards that we just read wouldn’t you prefer the people in your fish tank to at least have these qualities?
Think about the people you date now. What kind of qualities do they have? That’s your fish tank, you’ll marry those qualities unless you start seeking what God has for you. And if you don’t have those Godly qualities yourself, get on board, not so you can find a boy or a girl but so you can find Christ and let him fill all your needs and lead a big part of your life.
Matthew 6:33
Seek the Kingdom of God
Don’t misunderstand the scripture though... This doesn’t mean sit and meditate & a man or woman will appear. You will have to pursue. In a godly way open your eyes and be ready for what God puts in your path. (But keep it pure!)
(Illustration: Run the race with God as your focus and at some point He will tell you to look at your side)
Proverbs
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
So is that person in my life now?
How do I sort through my options WITHOUT playing the dating game?
1. Friendships.
Evaluate their relationships with you and other friends, especially when you’re not around. Ask about them and get the inside scoop from a reliable source.
2. Watch how they interact with their mom and dad. (respectful?)
-Guys that smart off to their moms, girls he’s going to treat you like that girls.
-Girls that sneak around their parents, maybe on a date with you. Don’t be surprise if she’s willing to be sneaky around you. While you’re dating or worse case: when you’re married.
-Check out their relationships, relationship skills are more important than kissing skills, goats know how to kiss.
3. Keep a safe distance for your heart’s sake.
Being close friends isn’t bad. Long-term friendship is an option. Besides you’ll get to know someone before you invest emotional into them. If they’re not willing to put the time in, then they’re not thinking of you, just themselves! Usually you can find someone’s true intentions by this. Girl if the guy is truly interested in you and a future with you he’ll stick around and respect the “friends only”, if not there’s a good chance he’ll wonder off. THIS IS A SIGN!
4. Pray for insight and wisdom
–This can be tricky!
Church Answer you don’t like: “Pray about it”
And Our prayer shouldn’t be “God she’s so hot, please let me go out with her”
Let God lead you, not your hormones or emotions.
Have godly wisdom and Evaluate them. This is judging. And you better do it.
Its your life, your emotions, your heart, & your marriage. You are trying to understand a person’s spiritual condition, personality, and motives.
-Check them out with God’s insight and wisdom, He won’t let you down.
5. Ask God to make is crystal clear quickly
You can waste your life, your time, and heart on the wrong person. Ask God if this relationship needs to be anything besides a friendship. Also be willing to accept the answer.
You don’t have to date around to find the "Right" one. With some of the things we talked about tonight you can find that right one without giving a piece of your heart, your emotions, or yourself away. I encourage you to think about this and apply it to your dating life.
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