EPIC Dating: Myths of Dating (Part 2 of 4)

Myth #2: No one would ever like the Real you so you have to Impress them.

This is called dating: we put on a show and even get made up for it. Make up, new clothes, cool attitude, WHAT WE THINK THEY WOULD LIKE…

But what about the real you?

That’s who you need to be. If not they’ll marry a fake or a bad actor and eventually you'll have to figure each other out.

But what do we do to Impress, how do we really look with our attempt?

How we impress the opposite sex and the games we play:

Flirting Games We Play: they actually started along time ago...

1. They started in Elementary: Passed notes that said Check Yes or No
2. As you got older girls you started writing notes. You know that special fold with the heart drew on the outside. And on the inside you wrote things like Carley loves“?”. What a tease! And then of course you got the guy asking “Well who do you like?”
3. The Middle Man Approach. I'm sure everyone has used the middle man. Then the wrath of the middle man, Ouch! A friendship buster.
4. Pick Up lines (here's a few funny ones)

             -Just what I thought "Made in Heaven." 

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

-If you were a booger I’d pick you first   
-Is it a sin that you stole my heart.?

-Hi the voices in my head told me to come over here and talk to you.

-I know I don’t have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk.

The pick up line is probably one of the biggest things we try when trying to impress someone. They're funny but lame!

We asked Girls what guys do to try to impress:

•Guys think girls want a guy who acts Cool and Macho, you think you have to be unaffected by the things around you. And if that doesn’t work you think just acting goofy is your back up.

•Another way guys try to impress is by showing off (yeah your muscles are attractive to some girls but are probably outweighed by your Cool/Macho attitude) That only works in Twilight.

•And talking about romantic movies: Guys think they have to be all romantic to impress, however some ladies like the romantic guy just not overly romantic.  

•Another attempt to impress is guys think picking and being mean is flirting.

ATTENTION: This does not impress girls.

AND I QUOTE “We’re not impressed when you poke us, call us names, or aggravate us. This just tells us you are an attention getter and annoying.”

ACTUAL ATTEMPTS BY GUYS (what guys said): Work Out, cut off shirts/shirtless, fashion/dress cool, over the top stunts/showing off, good dancer/hip hop, athletic, sweet/romantic, smooth talker, pay the girl’s way, pimp my ride/rims/bass, clingy, AXE cologne.

Truth of the Matter: What Girls really want…

•A nice guy that listens when they speak, not just hears them but listens.

•A guy that is sweet and has a good personality willing to spend simple time with me.

•A honest guy and knows how to be himself but one that isn’t all into himself.

•A guy that is willing to ask “How was your day or How are you”

•A poem or a letter from you. Yeah you can keep your man card if you do this!

• Girls want a guy who is affected by things. Guys who enjoy life, engage in worship, involved in meaningful friendships. They want a guy that is respectful, kind, compassionate, and godly. Someone who is on a greater adventure, than just trying to hook up with their next date.

We asked Guys what girls do to try to impress:

• Girls think guys want a girl who is “ditsy”. In other words just trying to  act cute and not themselves.

• Girls think guys want a “bomchickbombom” girl.  So they wear skimpy clothes and aren’t modest.

▪ Girls think they have to hit you, be touchy, they think they have to be all over you.

▪ Girls think they have to ignore their friends and make you center of their attention.

 (this is a dating no no. Do you want to turn the world against you? Every friend will dislike your relationship)

ACTUAL ATTEMPTS BY GIRLS (what girls said): Smile, flirty, giggle, give the guy compliments, talk about what he’s into, set standards and explain your faith(awesome!), just be herself, show him you’re confident, cook for him, be funny, appearance: makeup, hair, clothing

Truth of the Matter: What Guys really want...

▪ Guys are not looking to marry a girl who reveals everything by the way they dress. They may date a girl like that because they are thinking she’s “easy”, but they are looking for a modest girl to marry.

▪They want a girl to be herself, they want a honest girl, one that has self respect, one that is beautiful and has self confidence and doesn’t care what others think.
▪They want a girl that loves them, one that’s caring and is kind to them. They also want a girl that loves God and that is able to think for herself.
▪They want a girl that can cook and can be funny.

Genesis 1:31
Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!

Romans 12:6

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.

So we need to recognize that we are all different. You don't have to be the description given above, because their is someone out there that will love you for being you.

But don't you think we need to stop pretending or trying to live up to what the world is telling us we need to be?
We need to stop making our lives an ongoing struggle and just be who we are.
Why do we need to impress people?
God made you who you are, so be yourself, everyone else is taken.

And most of all know that God loves you!