EPIC Dating: LOVE (Part 1 of 2)

Love is in the air; that day is coming when attraction will turn to serious love and marriage won't be that far away. So what does a serious relationship between two believers look like?

What are some elements to keep a growing relationship solid?

Before we get off to far on what we do need in a relationship lets look at what we need to avoid in a serious relationship.

You need to avoid:

Compromise
Well we are getting married anyway, and we really love each other, so what does it matter if we get physically involved now. That’s compromise and it’s a road to destruction, and a road that is unholy and ungodly. Don't give in; guard yourself all the way to the alter.

Opportunities to be alone for extended periods of time
Even the Godliest person can mess up (Romans 3:23)

Any relationship can make a quick dumb turn down the wrong road. Don’t think you’re immune and that it can’t happen to you.

Rotating your whole world around that person

Your world does not rotate around a person, it should rotate around God.  That means don’t rotate your schedule around that person, don’t rotate your answers for ministry opportunities around that person: mission trips, church events, camp "if they're not going i'm not going", education and career.

Now some steps that you need to take in your life and in your relationship and some things that you need to continually add to a relationship when you’re at that point in your life to have a serious relationship.

I want you to get to that altar with your purity, a Godly relationship and without any dings, cuts or scars in your life. We're not perfect but God's word is flawless.

1) Accountability

-You need a friend of the same sex, that is godly and pursing Jesus Christ in their own life.

-A friend that has the complete right to get in your face and speak the truth in love to you

-They have the complete right to ask you any question they want to ask you about your personal thoughts, the things you’re doing on dates, the stuff that’s going on in your life.

-They have the right to invade your space and to dig into your personal thoughts and life.

Now I’m not talking about one of those friends that are struggling with the same things too. Because you'll end up just embracing each others weakness and patting each other on the back.  “Its okay we’re just human”

That’s not accountability, I’m talk about someone to tell you that you’re messing up and blowing it.

PS. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is not your accountability partner. (COMPROMISE)

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, associate with fools and get in trouble.

Proverbs 9:9 Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.

Proverbs 15:22 Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.

Proverbs 24:6 So don’t go to war without wise guidance; for victory depends on having many advisers.

Proverbs 11:14 Without wise leadership, a nation falls, there is safety in having many advisers.

2) Prayer and Bible study

You need to pray together.

Opportunity to pray together: Before a date. Before you even start the vehicle. Pray that God blesses the night, that you honor him in all you do, talk about and think about.This is a godly man or woman that would start a date off like this. 

Warning: Some guys have been known to use this as a front:

Let me explain... "Let's read the bible together." Soon the bible reading time turns into a "spiritual make-out session". What started out as a good intentions soon head south. Your focus may be to grow in a intimate relationship with God but soon may be more focused on growing closer physical. Let me remind you again... Guard your heart above all else.

If prayer and bible study with each other heads in this direction its time to back off on the quite time together.

Here’s the deal you need to be have Quite Time on your own. 

Now it’s cool to share what God is teaching you and showing you in your life. And if you want to read your bible together, read it in a place where there are people and you’re not alone.

But the thing is If you are not disciplined enough to spend time alone with God. You will not be disciplined enough to pursue a godly pure relationship.

John 15:5 Jesus said “Apart from me you can do nothing, I am the vine and you are the branches, if you will remain in me and I remain in you, you will produce much fruit, but apart from me you are powerless and you can do nothing

If you want purity in your life, that means personally you have to be leaning hard into God, you have to rely on his strength his power, not your own because if you do you wont succeed.

3) Tons of interaction with each other's families

Believe it or not you are marrying into another family. If you don’t like her family now, you’re not going to like them when you get married. And the same if they don’t like you.

4) Continue to have conversations about life issues:

Career, school/college, ministry, kids (do/don’t want them), where you’re going to live – You need to find out if God is taking your lives in the same direction?  

You may focus your relationship off of physical things later to realize you're not headed in the same direction

5) Continue to learn about the person:

Values, priorities, whether they like:

• To have Fun • Accomplishing Goals • Career • Education • Leadership • Integrity • God • Family • Compassion •Loyalty • Truthfulness • Future Security

6) Don't cut off your friends!

You need friendships because they keep life in perspective and also a safety net if you have to bail out of that relationship.