James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
Why would someone be doubled minded for asking and not believing?
If you don’t believe then why even ask.
Think about:“God please help me with this but you probably won’t”, Or “Lord I’m praying because that's what my pastor told me to do.”
Do you really expect any outcome!
Are you confident when you ask, when you pray?
VS 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
When God gives us answers, wisdom do we listen?
That’s what this dating series is about, but if we're double minded we may be missing it!
What I see in teenagers when it comes down to relationships and dealing with sex & dating is 3 groups of people:
-Don’t Care Group, If I love them it’s Okay Group, & Show me the line Group
1)- Don’t Care Group is the ones that don’t care who they hurt, who they use or who they rob. They’re even willing to hurt themselves. Pleasure seeking and with selfish desires and that’s all that matters.
2)- If I love them it’s ok Crowd
Do we use this word "love" to freely when we may not really know what its about?
I believe in some cases this word is misused. Especially in dating.
What happens is we get these selfish desires and we want bring this relationship to the physical. So what do we do? We justify and convince ourselves that "I love you" makes it okay to move forward.
But if you really think about it this is what you’re saying:
a. I love you so much I’m willing for you to get pregnant or a disease
b. I love you so much I’m willing for you to have a bad reputation
c. I love you so much I’m willing for you to regret this for the rest of your life
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!
If someone tells you they love you so lets go do this thing, they don’t want to do this thing because they love you. They want to do this because they love themselves. They’ve just had these ideas running through their head and they just need a body to do them with and if "I Love you" works then lets call it love.
What is Love? Do we really know and understand Love?
This is what I think we think love is: Love is the biggest, most extreme feeling we’ve every felt for a person up to that moment.
I say this because what happens is we spend time with a person and get close to them and we have this feeling….
All warm inside, butterflies and we think “It must be love” but it’s really just gas..
So what’s LOVE? (Webster's) strong affection for another arising out of personal ties, -attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers, -affection based on admiration or common interests,
Wait don’t you have to spend more than a couple weeks or months with someone to truly know their interest? Yet we through out love within days/weeks of dating.
(Webster's continue) -warm attachment or devotion, -unselfish loyal concern for the good of another: as the fatherly concern of God for humankind, brotherly concern for others or a person's adoration of God, -to hold dear, to feel affection or experience desire (remember "unselfish loyal concern for the good of another" that means Love is not about your selfish desires)
So we think we know what this love thing is, later to realize we didn’t have it at all.
So if thats the case, then the “If I Love them, It's Ok Crowd” is pretty dangerous.
3- Show me the Line Crowd (how far is to far)
When you start experimenting with the where’s the line it will soon affect your relationship.
1- You have the possibility of going into sex before marriage (Because we have defined “sex” as something else, but sex/impurity is more than intercourse)
2- In a relationship you’ll start to talk less, Not trust each other. Because now your opening to things, you've let down your guard and your looking at other people. And when you get married it’s baggage and you’ll have to deal with it.
The attitude Christians have in this group:
Well if sex is bad, we’ll just find a spot in the middle where it’s okay….
Just show me the line, How far is too far...
We’re looking for the line, we want to know where it’s at.
Why? So we can stay far away from it, right?
No, because we want to get all on top of it without crossing it.
So you ask where’s the line?
Picture it this way, your wife or husband is out there dating someone right now. How do you want them to be treat. They’re making decisions about dating and relationships too – where do you want them to draw the line?
So what I think is the how far is too far crowd is head for the same stuff as the if I love them it’s okay crowd.
May take a little longer to get there but headed for the same place.
And the Results: Guilt / No trust / Pregnancy / Future Marriage Problems / Brokeness / ImpureTake a stand for your purity, its better to have a plan now than to get out in the dating world to realize you need to make a quick decision. And most of all pray for that wisdom that God generously gives.
Next week we'll look at some tactics to the dating world.
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